每周令我高兴的五件事（2/3/2020）

• 真的很难找到开心的事情，天天给妈妈打电话，就是想看看她那里到底怎么样。周一送Rachel的时候收到她妈妈给我的口罩，说可以寄回中国。在这千金难求的时候，我还是很感激的。
• 在华盛顿邮报的book club weekly email里找到了一些有关书的网站Lit Hub, Counterpoint and Electric Lit。也提到了Bookshop作为网上购书的地方。又一个地方可以好好呼吸。"People understand that they’re actually shaping the world by how they spend their dollars,” he says. “Their behavior as consumers or as human beings is creating the world that they're going to live in in the future, and they need to do that consciously to avoid creating the world that they don't particularly care to live in. That’s through a hundred small choices we make every single day, and one of those choices can be to buy a book on Bookshop and help keep independent bookstores around and alive.” 
• 晚餐的时候可以自己谈话，我和聪可以相互vent。事情发生太多，需要好几个很好的渠道才能让情绪通顺。
• 读了《1919》，太好看了。把历史时间讲得栩栩如生，尤其是每章结束的时候，都有一小篇100年以后的今天，然后有一个非常棒的时间索引把所有重要的历史事件都串了起来。
• 在奥斯卡开奖之前，狂补了两部片子，1917和Richard Jewell。前者战争片还是一如既往的沉闷，但是配乐的变化弥补了不足。后者是揭露美国司法机构的破裂，能够直面正视，很不易。

每周令我开心的五件事（01/27/2020）

• 因为加入了NYT的podcast在facebook上的组，一下子觉得有太多的podcast可以听，于是根据他们的推荐，下载了很多。结果在thesweetandbitterlife里有一集里主持人问Nancy Pearl推荐几本以海外为背景的书籍，或者就是游记。这才知道了Nancy Pearl，她是一个图书管理员，但是因为看书众多，被NPR请去推荐了很多书，summer reading的，年末的推荐。现在也还是在西雅图公立图书馆里开心地做着管理员。我真是羡慕她。看到她的推荐单子一个接着一个，我在豆瓣里那个忙。超级高兴啊。再整理这些书单的时候，发现她推荐的书普遍都听冷门的，至少在goodreads的书评很少，不过我也是上过goodreads上书评的当的。于是从图书馆借来她的book lust，超级喜欢有关书的书。https://www.nancypearl.com/nancy-pearl-books

• 上周日，聪吃过饭自己躺在床上听podcast，说听了一天的歌，想动动脑子。结果听到了This America Life里讲到的"The Alternative Universe"说，虽然躺在床上，但是眼睛睁得大大的。的确，我也非常喜欢这一集。里面讲了四个故事，

1. 第一个故事是一个作家讲的，说的是他的爸爸，知道最后他爸爸得了舌癌，不能喝咖啡，但是想象在另外一个宇宙里是能喝的，顺着这个藤，摸到了我的瓜，就是那本The Seven Good Years"里面讲了很多有趣的故事。非常幽默；
2. 第二个故事是说一个专门给领导人写盗窃稿子的人当年给克林顿写了一份致人们的公开信，但是他却没有按照这封信去念，表达歉意并不诚恳，最终造成了对他的弹劾；
3. 第三个故事是一对双胞胎，实在是不知道谁是谁，一直到长大才把自己的身份搞明白，结果妈妈的直接还是正确的，所以大松一口气。
4. 最后一个故事是说一个被领养的朝鲜的孩子找到了自己的亲生母亲，虽然激动，但是却没有办法习惯原国家的一些生活习惯，比如说，女儿要和亲生母亲一起同窗睡觉。如在另外一个宇宙，她没有被领养，而是继续生活在了原来的国度，会是怎么样呢？

• 他周末离开去加拿大看他的弟弟。在这么动荡的日子里， 他还是选择了出行，走的时候没有准备跟聪打招呼。我跟他说了以后，他就跟挤牙膏一样地跑倒她旁边站着，叫了一声“聪聪”。周日，我看了四部影片，两倍速看的，两部黑帮片，看得我耳朵疼。吃着爆米花，终于有了一个完全属于我的下午。
• 下决心买了一个好一点的小烤箱，有数字的控制，精准很多。特别喜欢。
• 没有想到能够在周中带狗狗去一次Skillman Park，用试了我的手机拍照，夜景的效果太惊人了。

• 周三还有一次跑步。真实难的。很珍惜。

每周令我开心的五件事（01/20/2020）

• 听完了“Alexander Hamilton"，虽然听的过程中有艰难时刻，因为大段篇幅讲政治，实在也是考验我的耐心。然后就把音乐剧的歌找出来听，看看别人对这本书的高度评价，慢慢地也就听完了。虽然有的章节是囫囵吞枣的。

• 开始看"The fiddle in the Subway"，我觉得我是迷上这个作者了，写的每篇文章都非常好，叙事，描写和对话恰到好处。

• 听完了老金的"On Writing"，他自己朗读的。是他讲的，一本好的小说要有叙事，描写和对话。自己要一直带着工具箱，里面有词汇和语法。

• 应小人的要求，做了一块巨大的cookie，然后她就掰啊掰啊。
  
  
  
  

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• 收到Kevin的短信，表示对饺子味道的肯定。我也说了，希望小人能stretch自己，跳出自己的舒适区，做到真正的学习。他说会的。自从停了小提琴以来，她的专注力似乎是得到了提高。希望她能很快地或者尽量多地进入FLOW的阶段。

2020的第一个长周末

周六

她有两个生日聚会要去。11点50的样子送她去第一个聚会，开始下雪。车开得很慢。中午我就不停地吃零食，他去考试，下午我一个人在家，外面下雪，舒服极了。

上午我给她做了一份沙拉：菠菜，毛豆和brussel sprout及三文鱼和鸡蛋。给他煎了两个鸡蛋，因为他要考试。结果他走得慌慌张张地。果然回来的时候没有买mocha cake。其实我也不是要cake，便宜一点的面包也可以的。人多么地自私。我大笑三声。

下午我做了南瓜蛋糕和烧卖。

晚上她去吃火锅。我切了corn beef，热了热wrap。我自己吃的稀饭，牛油果。

晚上我没有看书，一口气把mind hunter的第二季看完了。来了例假。人懒得动。

周日

上午给她煎了个鸡蛋。

给她带的饭盒跟周六的相似。

中午给他做了炸酱面。我自己稀饭和bagel。讲到那个麻球，他还真的把麻球那到他那边去。想到感情真的是破裂了。没有办法缝合。

下午做了cookie，coconut flour plus coca powder plus a little flex seed meal。口感不错。反正不甜。

晚上我做了红烧肉，青菜和萝卜汤。看着她吃饭还是很勉强。

周一

上午给她煎鸡蛋。

午饭吃的是烤鱼，我放了好多蔬菜。鱼一下子就被瓜分光了。蔬菜里第一次尝试了turnip，还不错，可以代替土豆。

她下午继续画画。

晚上吃的豆腐wateress汤加饺子，给Kevin带了一点，不知道符不符合他的口味。吃饭的时候我想说说话，就把下午看的那本书里说了出来。说到那个电话销售的故事。他的理解是，男人都是好人，不好意思得罪人，而女的都是穷凶极恶的。

本来我还是有幻想，期盼能够复原，毕竟是有血缘关系的家庭。现在我放弃了。我觉得很多东西不能勉强。因为没有必要。不是有了血缘关系，就一定能做到相亲相爱的。

日子飞逝。转眼就是一月20号了。看到中国又开始又疫情，并且在我写的这个当，已经在美国发现了第一列。

每周令我开心的五件事（01/13/2020）

• 周一一早他就写来非常nasty的微信，我努力让自己不受此影响，读那篇长文，里面说到，"Perhaps we could all be a little more like Jo Camerson: joyful, compassionate, unperturbed by all the nasty, roiling feelings that turn us, from time to time, into goblins."
• 顺藤摸瓜，找到Twenty-five books That Shaped America，在豆瓣里做了两个豆列，看到最后这么一段话，很喜欢：Find that gold. Go mine it, pan for it, seek it out. Embrace what you find. Listen to what it tells you. Learn its lessons. Set your own standard for excellence and greatness. Don't take someone else's word for it. Not even mine. Me? I'll leave you to it. I've got a book to read."
• 周五去查经的时候，晓滨看到我特别高兴，我很感动。
• 周六预报下雪，在清冷的20多度的周六早上，我坚持跑了5英里，感觉脚是最冷的。
• 周六下午他们都不在家，我一个人做了狗狗的cookie和南瓜蛋糕，在雪里开车接送聪去她朋友的生日会，安全到家。

这一周事实上很难熬，因为吃饭都是闷头吃饭的。周三晚上我找话题说了几句。觉得没有啥意思，周四晚上他就说他的弟弟迟早会来美国念书的。我就到楼下想问问清楚，究竟是立刻马上来呢还是有个时间期限。他在家工作，给所有人都带来了情绪上的不快，周日中午吃饭的时候，说他2月之后就基本上住在外面了。周末回来。

The dog poem that made Johnny Carson cry

He never came to me when I would call

Unless I had a tennis ball,

Or he felt like it,

But mostly he didn't come at all.

When he was young

He never learned to heel

Or sit or stay,

He did things his way.

Discipline was not his bag

But when you were with him things sure didn't drag.

He'd dig up a rosebush just to spite me,

And when I'd grab him, he'd turn and bite me.

He bit lots of folks from day to day,

The delivery boy was his favorite prey.

The gas man wouldn't read our meter,

He said we owned a real man-eater.

He set the house on fire

But the story's long to tell.

Suffice it to say that he survived

And the house survived as well.

On the evening walks, and Gloria took him,

He was always first out the door.

The Old One and I brought up the rear

Because our bones were sore.

He would charge up the street with Mom hanging on,

What a beautiful pair they were!

And if it was still light and the tourists were out,

They created a bit of a stir.

But every once in a while, he would stop in his tracks

And with a frown on his face look around.

It was just to make sure that the Old One was there

And would follow him where he was bound.

We are early-to-bedders at our house -- I guess I'm the first to retire.

And as I'd leave the room he'd look at me

And get up from his place by the fire.

He knew where the tennis balls were upstairs,

And I'd give him one for a while.

He would push it under the bed with his nose

And I'd fish it out with a smile.

And before very long He'd tire of the ball

And be asleep in his corner In no time at all.

And there were nights when I'd feel him Climb upon our bed

And lie between us,

And I'd pat his head.

And there were nights when I'd feel this stare

And I'd wake up and he'd be sitting there

And I reach out my hand and stroke his hair.

And sometimes I'd feel him sigh and I think I know the reason why.

He would wake up at night

And he would have this fear

Of the dark, of life, of lots of things,

And he'd be glad to have me near.

And now he's dead.

And there are nights when I think I feel him

Climb upon our bed and lie between us,

And I pat his head.

And there are nights when I think I feel that stare

And I reach out my hand to stroke his hair,

But he's not there.

Oh, how I wish that wasn't so,

I'll always love a dog named Beau.

每周令我开心的五件事（01/06/2020）

1/6/2020

• 读了一篇微信文，其中说到要在5个方面保护好，提升好自己：(Live, Love and Learn)

1. 身体
2. 认知：技能，只是和思维模式
3. 情绪情感：深呼吸；创造心流；活在当下
4. 关系/社交：接受多元文化，提高同理心，主动扩展/主动进攻，互惠原则
5. 精神上

• 周末天气太宜人了，就这件事本身就非常令人开心
• 继续跑步周末的两个早晨，周日早晨明显感到脚步沉重很多。
• 跟聪一起去了纽约，看了我们都很喜欢的作者的小型展览（那一个多小时真是感觉时间流逝又停滞的感觉）

         回来之后，我周一给她写了一段短信：
I just want to take a moment to say the NYC trip last Saturday was really great. It definitely tops my weekly 5 things making me happy last week. The one hour spent in the exhibition of Salinger seemed so surreal as I feel that I was totally emerged myself in the history with an intelligent and curious mind. The fact that we could not take phtots forced me to read the words more diligently and be mindful at (that) moment and be present. 

I would always treasure the moments we tried to decode Keith Haring's drawing, the moment we took the picture of the crowds hovering over "Starry, Starry Night", the confusion we had looking at the stripes on the red board and so much more.

I am also happy that NYPL has given you the inspiration and re-motivated you to be a writer. I thank NYPL for that. And I do appreciate all libraries for all the books and histories.

So I don't think I should be too greedy to ask you to meet my standards in terms of eating food "normally". I think my alertness is just switched on automatically.

Just want to share some thoughts.

• 和聪一起在图书馆里呆了半个小时，在她去上数学课之前。她的数学测验有了进步。在去纽约的大巴上问她究竟是什么影响了她，促进了她，是否能够复制？