运用过千万遍的题目 (2017-10-23 09:15)

And it’s the same with partners. To love them is to recognize that they live, too. And to let them breathe.

To love them?—?fully?—?is to appreciate them each day. Give them our care and compassion and attention. It means seeking to understand their viewpoint, empathizing with their struggles, celebrating their wins, and supporting their journey. It means listening, touching gently, and treating their experience with the same kindness as our own. It means caring without crushing or clinging.

To love means giving them full range of motion, and space to exist in their lives. It means accepting that what we have will one day fade away?—?due to death or change. It means recognizing them as other people not responsible for our emotions?—?or emotional wellbeing. It means managing our own lived experience just as much as we allow them theirs. It is allowing them space to make mistakes, to be imperfect (forever), to have space to live their own lives that are separate from ours.

It means not fighting against the possibility of loss; it means appreciating each day as though all we have is here and now, rather than trying (futilely) to protect ourselves against them leaving.