I’m friends with a good-looking guy who is perpetually single. If he ever asked me what he’s doing wrong, I would tell him all of this:
Requiring constant validation. It is exhausting for others.
Bragging about yourself. Let other people do that.
Talking primarily about yourself, especially if your stories usually feature you as the hero and everyone else learning a lesson. (Or if all your stories are about you being wronged!)
Being unwilling to laugh at or make fun of yourself.
Finding the down side in everything and killing others’ exuberance. Never being happy or excited for others.
Appointing yourself as the person who should tell others the “brutal truth” about their personal situation.
Giving backhanded or underwhelming compliments.
Contradicting people compulsively over things that don’t matter—like when you know perfectly well what they meant.
Arguing for no reason other than to have the last word or assert that you are smarter.
Never asking other people about themselves (or obviously doing so as a mile marker so you can keep talking about you).
One-upmanship. This includes all forms of stealing someone else’s thunder, like always saying “Me too” when the other person is sharing something they did, or delivering the punchline of their joke.
Using crass language that isn’t necessary or witty.
Killing conversations: Announcing your dislike of something another person just told you they love (food, fashion, literature, whatever) and not really going anywhere with it. Responding to friendly questions with one-word answers. Basically running other people out of things to say.
Gross personal habits like picking your teeth or ears, belching, spitting, or scratching your scalp in public
Persistently flirting with people who have told you they’re not interested. Sulking or acting hurt when they are unresponsive or ask you to stop. Making wounded remarks. Abusing their friendship by making them feel guilty and forcing them to console you.
你是一个不受欢迎的人。我和聪发现比尔每个都占了。
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