Condescending

这个词用在刚才那个电话上，真是再确切不过了。

最近下面不适，再加上跟邻居聊天听她说了更年期的变化和经历，再想想自己也已经有一阵子没有去做宫颈刮片了，就想着要打电话给家庭医生。

说是做体检，早晨打电话过去，没有想到是她先生接的，态度还算和气，说现在不在电脑旁边，9点多再打回来。我有点诧异，但是说，可以。

等到十点多，我打过去的时候，办公室的录音电话告诉我说，诊所只有周一到周五才开门，于是作罢。没有想到对方还是打电话回来了。问我是不是要体检。我说的快了一点，说，不用抽血，因为一年中有好几次需要抽。对方立刻就说，那么你就去找你现在的医生吧。我说，我现在没有家庭医生。他强调了作为家庭医生的重要性，说如果发生什么事情，沈医生是可以进行协调的，罗嗦了一大堆，说可以在周二的中午给我一个时间。先说是1：50，并且强调这个空档，平日里只是给朋友的，如果打电话到前台去，就会被告知没有。停一下，这么对我说，我应该说什么呢？非常感谢你。

然后我问，如果要是中午午饭时间来的话，什么时候合适。对方很豪迈地说，“你期望的时间是什么时候呢？”我说，11：20左右。他说，我可以帮你放一个11：00，然后放一个MEMO，让前台帮你一下。但是你到了以后，千万不要跟前台说你是有特殊照顾的，否则在那里等的一屋子人都要不开心的。那我该说什么呢？我说，好，多谢你。作为一个医生，一天到晚等待的就是请求病人给你的感谢吗？还不停地加上一般体检要等两个星期。我帮你预约下周二，已经是很好的了。

最后衡量了一下，还是选择了1：50，就是又要跟Jess说一下了。整个谈话，对方罗里罗嗦，居高临下，就想用家庭医生的身份来克制你对她期待的帮助。

撞衫

哈哈，都是在Costco买的，穿得还都挺高兴的。

青少年乐团大比拼

 https://www.yofest.org/

答应了YOCJ参加第一届青少年乐团的小比拼。在trenton，好在不一定要上高速。虽然是州政府所在地，但是破败得不行，这个剧院说是有着非常棒的回响，但是连个最起码、最普通的地毯都没有。我们的座位是安置在水泥地上。对于我们家长，他们还特地安排了一间房间在演出之前休息。一屋子的家长，很多都在看书。我带着《活着是为了讲述》，在下午有着温暖阳光的房间里看着书，觉得很奢侈。这样的等待时间都是与书本为伴的时刻。

很难看到她。

YOCJ是第一个上场的。演奏得非常棒。而且气场很大。小提琴这边，一个男生带领一群女生尽情地拉。演奏结束之后，有音乐工作人员跑上台给出她的意见，说得很好，充满热情，让小孩子们心服口服。

Brauvra出场演奏后，我抱着很大的希望，没有想到只有第一把小提琴是非常有实力的。我们也认出了Mia是Kim的学生。指挥是一个中国女士，她还特地提到说，她选了蒙古跳舞，
来庆祝中国新年。

等到GPYO出场的时候，就让人感到有点pathetic了，因为人数都不能撑起半个场子。而指挥是聪乐团的老师，让她也感到为他感到难过。

我们一路看着节目，一路互相发着短信。

Trenton把当地学校的孩子也都邀请来看演出，但是秩序非常混乱。说是想给这些孩子一点激励，希望他们能学乐器。我为这样的安排感到有点诧异。这些孩子只会心中充满不满，因为现实很骨感，而理想很丰满。

回家的路上，我们说好了去泰国餐馆吃个饭。一来我回家也晚了，而来，小小庆祝一下比尔和我都成为公民了。

餐馆的菜吃着鲜美，晚上就开始不停地喝水了。

猪年快乐

今年是金猪年，大年初一在周二，还是要给资本主义添砖加瓦。

周一晚上做了一顿简单的年夜饭，红烧桂鱼，糖醋藕片，青菜，冬瓜虾丸汤。吃得蛮着急的，因为还要赶去上晚上的数学课。

妈妈的本命年，希望她能平安度过。

Google也庆祝中国年。帝国大厦也点红色的灯庆祝。周围两个学区都放假休息。感觉华人的影响力在扩大。新泽西的州政府也有了第一次庆祝中国新年的活动。

今天值得庆祝！！！！

2/9早晨，我起床带Rixi出门扔了几下球后回家，吃了早饭。（晚上炖了一锅木瓜木耳红枣汤，前一晚上用高压锅的慢烧锅的功能炖了5个小时）吃早饭之前，我看到她站在体重计上。做了鸡蛋饼，里面给他们包了肉。热了几片年糕。她一口也没有吃。但是揪了几口面包抹三文鱼的油。

后来我就去印度商店买菜去了，主要就是想去看看，然后了解一下那家超市的行情。

哈哈，光是辣椒就是满满一排啊。印度工作人员正在整理蔬菜，水果。我惊喜地发现，这家超市跟中国的超市很接近，因为都是按照分量来计算的，而非按照个数来计算的。

正“视察”着呢，接到了她的短信：“我有消息”，听上去就跟她需要跟我打暗号一样。我就接着问，“什么消息？”等了一会，她才回信回来。

我看到了，先是楞了一下，然后反应过来，她是来了例假。

好像盼望了很久，这一天终于来了，我的感觉是想哭。喜极而泣的那种。我给她回信，告诉她我很高兴，并且应该庆祝。她回过来的表情有点lost的样子。

回到家，我拥抱她，问她，上午站在体重计上，数字有多少？她说有120多，没有看仔细。然后自己说，无所谓了。

就是，无所谓了。接下来就是纠正她的行为了。

“拎得清”的上海人（转载）

拎得清，是老上海人熟悉的词语，与现在的年轻人喜欢说的“靠谱”相比，拎得清所表达出来的内容更丰富，语感更传神。

拎得清，在上海人的心中不仅是靠得住，而且代表着睿智、通达、简洁、精明、高效、善解人意等品性。

拎得清简称为“拎清”，其重心在于“清”，过去老上海人问他人：侬拎清了伐？对方回答“拎清”，而现在习惯普通话的年轻人喜欢用“明白”来表达。

其实“明白”和“拎清”之间也只能用约等号，在某些语境下，说话者不能把话说尽，只能“豁只翎子”，此时，拎清就是要能听得懂人家半句话。

在一些老上海人看来，拎得清是上海人的标识，是识人头之首要。

拎清，首先表现在思路清，观察力强，能够透过现象看本质，不畏迷雾遮望眼。

在理顺思路上，上海人用了一个“拎”字很有动感，语义上胜过眉毛胡子一把抓的“抓”字。可以想象一下，拎起一件丝绸衬衫的领子顺手一抖，衬衫立马煞挺的场面，反之将衣服的袖子或下摆一把抓起来结果就七歪八扭。

所以拎得清者一定会提纲挈领，以收牵一发而动全身之效。拎清了纲领，就理顺了思路，由此考虑问题就能走简洁路线，以需要解决的问题为起点，以预设的结果为终点，用直奔目标的最合理经济的路线来设计行动计划。

拎得清，必须体现在表达清，所谓要言不烦。表达方式简洁明了，不啰嗦不绕弯子。把复杂事情深入浅出地讲简单了，谓之拎得清；而把简单事情讲复杂了就是拎不清。

常常看到某些会议场合，有人发言讲话就习惯性地开无轨电车，用北方话形容就是车轱辘话来回说，听着听着好像要结束了，结果原来说过的话题又卷土重来了，由于让人无法猜度什么是话头什么是话尾，说者竟然全无知觉，这就是一种自以为是的拎不清。

人际交往中语言交流必不可少，即使一些看似漫无边际的聊天也在传递着互相的情感信息，年轻人聊着聊着不对路了，出现了所谓的“尬聊”，也会幽默一下：你把天聊破了，或者半真半假地嗔白道，你会不会快乐地聊天啊。

拎得清者，在聊天时必会清楚地知道对方的感受，会照顾到聊者之间的心理气氛，遵循真话不全说，假话全不说的原则，拿捏好分寸。

拎得清，做事体一定要清爽，这种清爽表现在做事干净利落、不讨人手脚，不要人“擦屁股”。

有的人做事很快，但是他一个人在前面做，后面得有一批人跟着帮他补漏。

如在家难得下厨，厨房里从上到下弄得一天世界，帮厨的围着他转得七荤八素；

在职场里干活风风火火，完工后经不起检查；

有的人做事细致，但是常常拖泥带水，干事出不了活，让人看得肚肠根发痒，这些都不免被人嘀咕“拎不清”。

拎得清者做事分得清轻重缓急，而且把好节奏，有条不紊，循序渐进，结果清爽，过程也清爽，给人有良好的预期感，让人放心。

拎得清者做事深知承诺的分量，事前不说满口话，更不开空头支票，说到必定做到，做的常常比说的还好，有的事只做不说，有的事多做少说，有的事边做边说，有的事做后再说。

拎得清者做事知道在合适的时间合适的地点做合适的事，不会盲目造次，给人一种得体、自在、应当的感觉，用上海人的老话讲就是做事体有清（轻）头。

拎得清的人在为人处世上会“看山水”，在公众场合读得懂公众的意思和集体认同的行为，会顾及他人的感受，自觉对标，选择自己的谈吐举止。在日本有一种流行说法叫“读懂空气”，这与上海人的“看山水”倒有异曲同工之妙。

现在被人诟病的通勤地铁里吃早点，公众场合哇啦哇啦打电话等行为，按传统眼光来看就是属于拎不清范畴。

想当年在旧式里弄生活时，逼仄环境下派生出了拎得清的行为准则，那时晾衣服都在弄堂或天井里，那也是夏天时上海人的乘凉地，晾衣服的都会把衣服拧得很干以免水滴落到乘凉人的头上；

酷暑房间里闷热难耐，后厢房的人家即使露宿在弄堂里也不会忘记把自家的门窗打开，让睡在前厢房里的老邻居享受到穿堂风，这些看似日常琐事如果要邻居发声音再做，就少了相互默契的愉悦感，一定程度上就显得又有点拎不清了。

上海男人即使再惧内也是要面子的，如果场面上有什么不得体的举动，上海拎得清的女人即使再“作”，公共场合也会装糊涂，或者嫣然一笑而过，一切回家再说。

兴许是老上海的海纳百川、五方杂处磨出了拎得清的文化默契，其表现林林总总，可谓一言难尽，有的甚至只可意会不可言传。

不知如今的上海人是否还有一份心思去体会上海人眼中的拎得清，从而做拎得清的上海人呢？

下面这些上海话，意思你可拎得清？

【识相】

上海人精致的生活情趣，养就了普通市民在处理人际关系以及做事方面的“识相”之道。往往善于察言观色，会看别人神色行事。既使自己充分施展才华，又注意知趣不过分。

【上路】

“上路”是处理事体通情达理，按公认个规则办事。“上路”常常是别人对某人的一种事后评价，说他“勿上路”是对这个人不满，认为对方自私，不顾众人个利益，违反游戏规则。

【派头大】

上海人讲“派头”，派头是一种气质，也是一种体面。派头不是摆出来的，更不是掼出来的，派头是自然而然体现出来的高雅气质。

【门槛精】

“门槛精”是旧上海“洋径浜”语，来源于英文“MONKEY(猴子)”。“门槛精”就是“猴子精”的意思。这里讲的“门槛”，是一种处世识事的能力。在商业化社会里，必须知道各种“门槛”，门槛不精就要上当，门槛精了就能搨到便宜。

【上台面】

上台面是一个人综合能力的体现。首先需要胆识，其次需要见识，再者需要深刻理解。上台面的人能从容与人交流, 在一些场面上谈笑风生，对大场面也应对自如。

【头子活】

上海人讲一个人头子活络，是讲他的头脑灵活，做事办法多的意思。听上海人讲话，你一定要头子活络，才能真正听懂他是在讲点啥，是在表扬你还是在阴损你。

【实打实】

上海人是重实际、负责任的。有不少上海话惯用语就是反映这种品质的,比如:“硬碰硬(实事求是,经得住考验)”、“实打实(踏踏实实)”、“明打明(光明正大的)”等。

【守规矩】

这是上海人最优秀的品质之一：重信用，守规矩。上海人十分恪守规则，尽管上下班高峰时交通也十分拥堵,但基本上大家都会老老实实地各走各的道。对于不守规矩的人，上海人就要帮伊“做规矩”了。

【勿领盆】

上海人是正直的，上海人最讲究是“做事做人要讲道理”。上海人如果发生争执，即便脸红耳赤也绝不会动手，因为他们是用争吵的方式以事实讲道理。对于不讲道理的人，上海人也绝“勿领盆”。

Personalities Test

Code: ISFJ-T

Role: Sentinel

Strategy: Constant Improvement

MIND

This trait determines how we interact with our environment.

42%

EXTRAVERTED

58%

INTROVERTED

Introverted individuals prefer solitary activities and get exhausted by social interaction. They tend to be quite sensitive to external stimulation (e.g. sound, sight or smell) in general. Read more

ENERGY

This trait shows where we direct our mental energy.

44%

INTUITIVE

56%

OBSERVANT

Observant individuals are highly practical, pragmatic and down-to-earth. They tend to have strong habits and focus on what is happening or has already happened. Read more

NATURE

This trait determines how we make decisions and cope with emotions.

24%

THINKING

76%

FEELING

Feeling individuals are sensitive and emotionally expressive. They are more empathic and less competitive than Thinking types, and focus on social harmony and cooperation. Read more

TACTICS

This trait reflects our approach to work, planning and decision-making.

71%

JUDGING

29%

PROSPECTING

Judging individuals are decisive, thorough and highly organized. They value clarity, predictability and closure, preferring structure and planning to spontaneity. Read more

IDENTITY

This trait underpins all others, showing how confident we are in our abilities and decisions.

32%

ASSERTIVE

68%

TURBULENT

Constant Improvers are sensitive and 

MIND: INTROVERTED VS. EXTRAVERTED

It is safe to say that Extraversion and Introversion are probably the oldest notions in the history of personality theories. It has long been observed that some people are expressive, outgoing and comfortable in interacting with their surroundings – while others are reserved, quiet and more comfortable alone. It is as if the former sincerely enjoy engaging with the external world and recharge by communicating with other people, and the latter prefer to rely on themselves and their own inner world instead of seeking stimulation from the outside. We focus on these differences in our first scale, which we call Mind – it determines how we see and approach the outside world, including people, objects and activities within it.

While Introversion and Extraversion are often used in lieu of social aptitude, this scale involves more than just being outgoing and social – although social skills form part of it. In a broader way, the Mind scale determines the degree of interaction with the outer world; how socially one behaves is just a part of that. In a sense, this scale is a contrast of the quantity and intensity of an experience and its quality or depth.

NATURE: THINKING VS. FEELING

The Nature scale determines how we make decisions and cope with emotions. While we all have feelings, there are significant differences in how we react to them and what role those feelings play in our lives. This then influences a number of other areas, mostly related to our interactions with other people.

People with the Thinking (T) trait seek logic and rational arguments, relying on their head rather than their heart. They do their best to safeguard their emotions, shielding them from the outside world and making sure that they are not clearly visible. “Whatever happens, you must always keep a cool head” – this is the motto of Thinking types. However, this does not mean that these types are cold-blooded and indifferent. People with the Thinking trait are often just as emotional as those with the Feeling trait – but they tend to subdue and override their feelings with their rational logic.

A good example here would be these groups’ attitudes toward charitable causes, which we analyzed in several of our studies. Thinking types are significantly less likely to give to charities or be touched by their emotional appeals – however, does this mean that they are unwilling to help? Not necessarily – it turns out that Thinking personalities simply do not believe that giving to charity is the best way to help. They may be just as willing to help other people, but they may look for a different way – such as investing in education for the disadvantaged, for instance.

In contrast, people with the Feeling (F) trait follow their hearts and emotions and care little about hiding them. From their perspective, we should not be afraid to listen to our innermost feelings and share them with the world – these individuals tend to be compassionate, sensitive and highly emotional. They would rather cooperate than compete, although it would be a big mistake to see Feeling types as naïve or easily swayed – quite the contrary, they are likely to fight tooth and nail for what they believe in. For many Feeling types, their principles and ideals are much more important than, say, professional success. Or, to put it another way, this is a different kind of logic, one rooted in assessments of the feelings of others – a decision that makes everyone happier is just as valid as a decision that gets the job done fastest.

ENERGY: INTUITIVE VS. OBSERVANT

The second scale in our model is called Energy and it connects Intuitive and Observant styles. In our opinion, this dichotomy is the most important – while the other four scales determine how you interact with the world (Mind), make decisions (Nature), schedule your activities (Tactics), or react to external feedback (Identity), the chasm between Intuitive and Observant individuals is far more significant as it actually determines how you see the world and what kind of information you focus on. It may seem like your decisions are the most important, but a decision is only as good as the understanding that backs it up.

With this in mind, all personality types can be divided into groups of those who favor the Intuitive (N) energy style (visionary, more interested in ideas, focusing on novelty) and those of the Observant (S) energy style (more interested in facts and observable things, focusing on the tried and tested).

Individuals with the Intuitive trait prefer to rely on their imagination, ideas and possibilities. They dream, fantasize and question why things happen the way they do, always feeling slightly detached from the actual, concrete world. One could even say that these individuals never actually feel as if they truly belong to this world. They may observe other people and events, but their mind remains directed both inwards and somewhere beyond – always questioning, wondering and making connections. When all is said and done, Intuitive types believe in novelty, in the open mind, and in never-ending improvement.

One of the best examples of such thinking that we can give is the results of a study of ours where we asked people whether they wish to have been born in the Age of Discovery. It quickly became clear that the Intuitive types would be much more willing to give up the convenience, comfort and predictability of the modern age in return for excitement brought by exploration, distant civilizations, and undiscovered mysteries of the New World. 

In contrast, individuals with the Observant trait focus on the actual world and things happening around them. They enjoy seeing, touching, feeling and experiencing – and leave theories and possibilities to others. They want to keep their feet on the ground and focus on the present, instead of wondering why or when something might happen. Consequently, people with this trait tend to be better at dealing with facts, tools and concrete objects as opposed to brainstorming about possibilities or future events, handling abstract theories, or exploring fantasy scenarios. Observant types are also significantly better at focusing on just one thing at a time instead of bursting with energy and juggling multiple activities.

These traits determine communication style as well – Intuitive individuals talk about ideas and have no difficulties with allusions or reading between the lines, while Observant types focus on clarity, facts and practical matters. This is why Intuitive types are likely to find it quite challenging to understand someone with the Observant trait, and vice versa. The former may even think that the latter is materialistic, unimaginative and simplistic, and the latter may see their Intuitive conversation partner as impractical, naïve and absent-minded. Both sets of assumptions can be quite damaging and it takes a mature person to get past them – but statements like these are fairly common.

Finally, it is important to point out that this scale has nothing to do with how we absorb information – Intuitive and Observant types use their five senses equally well – rather, it shows whether we prefer to focus most of our energy on looking for novel, intuitiveconnections or on observing and utilizing what we already see around us. If you are familiar with the Big Five personality traits, we built this scale on a reworked form of the Openness to experience concept, mostly focusing on preference for (and tolerance of) novelty and ambiguity.

Also, as discussed in our main theoretical article, there are other theories sharing these type acronyms, many of which are based on concepts defined by Carl Jung in the beginning of the 20th century. This scale is one of the most important differences between them and our model. Even though the Jungian concepts of sensation and intuition are likely to have some correlation with our Energy scale, these approaches are fundamentally different and may not be compared directly.

TACTICS: JUDGING VS. PROSPECTING

The Tactics scale determines how we approach planning and available options. However, this affects more than just our calendars – at its core, this scale determines our attitude toward certainty and structure in our lives, both at mental and physical levels.

People with the Judging (J) trait do not like to keep their options open – they would rather come up with five different contingency plans than just go ahead and deal with the challenges as they come. They prefer clarity and closure, always going with the plan rather than the flow. It is as if Judging types always keep a mental checklist, and when something is crossed off that list, it is done and not open to reassessment. This goes as much for groceries (“What will that go with?”) as it does for life goals, like buying a house.

Furthermore, Judging individuals tend to have a very strong work ethic, putting their duties and responsibilities above everything else. Our research also indicates that Judging types are much stricter when it comes to law and order. Of course, this does not mean that the other group are lawbreakers, but if you see someone walk for five minutes so that they could get to the other side of the street using a crosswalk, they are much more likely to be a Judging type.

In contrast, Prospecting (P) individuals are much more flexible and relaxed when it comes to dealing with both expected and unexpected challenges. They are always scanning for opportunities and options, willing to jump at them at a moment’s notice. People with this trait are perfectly aware that life is full of possibilities, and they are reluctant to commit to something that might well prove to be an inferior option in the future.

Prospecting personality types are also likely to focus more on what makes them happy as opposed to what their parents, employers, or teachers expect – if a specific task is not that important or interesting, a Prospecting individual will always be able to come up with something better to do.

IDENTITY: ASSERTIVE VS. TURBULENT

Our last scale, Identity, affects all others, showing how confident we are in our abilities and decisions. In a way, it acts as an internal sensor, reacting to the input we get from the environment – for instance, success or failure, feedback from other people, pressure caused by unexpected events and so on. Mind and Identity scales are the alpha and the omega of our model, acting like an external shell that we wear in all our interactions with the outside world – we discuss all four possible combinations of these traits in the “Strategies” section of our main theoretical article, but in this one, let’s take a look at what the Identity scale looks like.

Assertive (-A) individuals are self-assured, even-tempered and resistant to stress. They refuse to worry too much and do not push themselves too hard when it comes to achieving goals. Similarly, they are unlikely to spend much time thinking about their past actions or choices – according to Assertive types, what’s done is done and there is little point in analyzing it. Not surprisingly, people with this trait report more satisfaction with their lives and they also feel more confident in their abilities to handle challenging and unexpected situations.

In contrast, individuals with Turbulent (-T) identity are self-conscious and sensitive to stress. They experience a wide range of emotions and tend to be success-driven, perfectionistic and eager to improve. They are also more willing to change jobs if they feel stuck in their current one and to spend time thinking about the direction in which their life is going.

However, while the Assertive variant may seem more positive on the surface, that is not always the case – for instance, Turbulent individuals perform better in certain roles as they push themselves to achieve superior results, while Assertive ones do not care about the outcome that much. Always feeling the need to do more, to have more, and to be more, Turbulent types often forget how exhausting that can be to both themselves and the people around them – but it is entirely possible that this desire to always push themselves just a little further helps many Turbulent types to achieve what they seek to achieve.

contemplative individuals who enjoy having their own space and freedom. They are often deep and creative individuals, though often tense and more comfortable on their own than mixed up in the judgment of the real world. With the two personality traits most representative of a sensitivity to their environment – Introversion and Turbulence – they are reserved when dealing with strangers or new situations, often turning inwards or focusing on peacekeeping instead.

These personalities’ caution in the face of unfamiliar challenges can sometimes look like a lack of motivation, but this is usually just self-doubt – Constant Improvers have a strong drive, but it comes paired with a strong fear of failure. They invest a great deal of their identity in their successes, and even a minor misstep or embarrassment can be crushing.

The vigilance learned from a lifetime of ups and downs gives these personality types a knack for sensing trouble. This is a strategic wariness that can be quite useful in situations that need to balance risk and reward, whether a financial investment or a romantic opportunity. Though they can seem frustratingly over-cautious to others, Constant Improvers would rather not face calamity, so they excel at avoiding it with preventive insights.

Since they aren’t always comfortable with energetic exchanges with other people, Constant Improvers often direct their attention elsewhere, striving to master hobbies, careers, bodies of knowledge, or new means of self-expression. Their restless drive, self-doubt, and solitary mentality can combine to create impressive, beautiful results.

High-achieving and perfectionistic, Constant Improvers generally try to do their best in their endeavors, dedicating tremendous time and energy. These personalities can put so much pressure on themselves that they diminish their own impressive accomplishments by fixating on the slightest flaws or dismissing successes as luck rather than skill or dedication.

Taken too far, this perfectionism can also drive endless rumination – an unhealthy obsession with perfection will reveal flaws in the best plans, and Constant Improvers often feel forced to abandon a course of action because something doesn’t line up right. Whether working feverishly or picking at the threads of an idea though, Constant Improvers can be intense about their goals, and progress towards internal balance can lead them to amazing personal accomplishments.

Alongside their personal efforts, these personality types also care a great deal what others think of them. This can be very useful, but they can take this to a fault: fixating on others’ expectations can sour social efforts into awkwardness. Constant Improvers are easily thrown off-balance by conflict, and may communicate timidly, or not at all, for fear of hurting people’s feelings, provoking a confrontation, or looking the fool.

Sometimes it takes peer approval and active encouragement for this Strategy group to recognize their own virtues. These personalities often benefit from friends and colleagues patient enough to get to know them and who give them a chance to speak their minds. When treated considerately, these types become devoted partners and begin to reveal their kindness, insights, heartfelt support, and the complexities of their approach to the world, from sometimes (oddly specific) plans for obscure situations to starry-eyed ambitions.