检讨 (2015/02/27)

在朋友的聚会上，她在临走的时候说了一句粗话。当时大家都在看春晚，电视屏幕里有人在高声地唱着她听不懂的歌。大家安静下来，她说了一句，Why she is freaking loud?
比尔很尴尬，立刻制止了她。在回去的路上，一直在讨论她为什么会说出这句话的问题。因为这个问题，她又跟我们拧上了，自然我和比尔又发生了在如何处理这个问题上的争执。
他认为需要惩罚，并且惩罚的手段是不给她带午饭或者不让她再参加小提琴、钢琴、画画之类的课外活动。

我同意需要进行教育，但是不需要惩罚。即使是惩罚，也不是用他所建议的手段。因为不是natural consequences.

这件事引发到他说对我们的关系感到悲观。

在去乐团排练的路上，我对她说，需要她写一份类似检讨的书面记录。她一开始很抗拒，但是后来还是表示了同意。

她写到：
   I honestly don't remember saying the word "freaking" at the party. I'm not making an excuse.  I'm telling the truth.  I do understand that this is wrong and that freaking is a rude word to say.  I acknowledge that my actions and words are wrong and apologize.  Please accept this and do not question my actions any further.  I have told you everything I know and feel.
   I'll try to control my actions and speech more closely from now on.  I will no longer use any "foul language" such as the words "stupid", "freaking" or "shut up."
   I'll use a better tone of voice and not get as emotional as easily from now on.  I will be more quiet and moderate, and say sorry when needed, as well as accepting that I was wrong.

她犯错时，耐心地等她改错。