Letter to Future May (by May) (2015/10/07)

这是她Language Arts老师布置的一片作文。得到分数之前，她不让我看。直到知道得了100%后，才勉强同意给我看。我刚看的时候有点担心。但是后来给Joe看过之后，一致认为这是这个年龄特有的。就象我们那个时候“为赋新词强说愁”。想想我要是手边有我在上海中学时候的日记就好了，我可能能够更加理解她。


Dear future May,

Hello there. I am a flawed human being. I have a British accent at awkward times. I’m easily distracted and unorganized with my work and I often waste my time. I have too much pride and hate apologizing. I lack self-control, especially with my phone and priorities. I can barely hit a backhand in tennis for my life, even though my forehand is beautiful. But I guess I do have a sense of humor, even though I insult people in the process at times. I’m pretty good at running and improved a lot in the Pacer, as well as joining cross country. I’m decent at art, especially in cartoons, but a lot of times I drop a drawing because I have a new idea. I can play the piano and violin, but I hate performing in front of people. I love pizza, which is one thing that I’m pretty sure will never change. I like to wear black, but I always feel forced to wear lighter colors because if I constantly wear black I’m afraid that my peers will call me an emo and laugh at me behind my back. I love Fall Out Boy, Twenty-one Pilots, and My Chemical Romance because they always seem to understand me and make me think hard about the dilemmas of life. I fear failure, humiliation, and being alone, and have a secret? I’m not sure if I can swim. I haven’t been to the beach or to the pool in three years, and this gives me a fanatical fear of drowning, to the point when I drive past the pool I start to hyperventilate. I had a golden, flawless sixth grade and am eager to do it again. At the beginning of seventh grade, I was excited but terrified at the same time. I was excited to go back to school and hopefully see all my friends, meet new teachers (whom I had heard interesting rumors about), getting to exercise my mind again, and eat cafeteria food that was actual food. However, I was terrified because I didn’t go to orientation and didn’t know where anything was, and I didn’t have a map? and this time, there were two floors and combination locks. I was so scared that I was going to embarrass myself, get lost, lose friends, and get bad grades. The only things that I was looking forward to were seeing my friends again, learn more, and the food. I just hoped that I could hide all of my emotions, supplanting your stress with a small smirk in the halls and a blank look in the classroom. My tall stature, black hair with bangs slightly past my chin, narrowed dark brown eyes, and a clenched jaw implied to people that I knew what you was doing and didn’t really like it, like a stereotypical seventh grader, which was wrong, because I didn’t know what I was doing and was generally just really confused and numb, like my brain was a puzzle that had been missing a few pieces but still put together, and then just had been taken apart and had the pieces scattered across the room. 

Some important people in my life are my parents, my friends, and my uncertain boyfriend, who I’ve been with ever since the beginning of June but haven’t seen all summer but texted about three times a week. That’s truly pathetic since I haven’t said anything to each other except for “hi” so far. But for June, we were both heads over heels with each other. We both thought that we were going to last for quite a while, just like the naive sixth graders that we were. But judging from this year so far we probably won’t even have a proper conversation. But

I should be okay. I’ve got a whole lifetime ahead of me. My parents? They do everything for me, and I can do barely anything without them. However, since I’m approaching my “teenage years” I find yourself getting into arguments with them and disobeying them more and more often. I despise myself for that. I like to go biking or hiking with them, but not so much now that my dad has become a computer? loving hermit and my mom says that the danger of ticks in the woods is too great. Some friends I have are a “group” I joined last year after leaving my friends who I thought were a bit boring. However, my old friends were the ones that decorated my locker last year and not the new ones. I often feel that I don’t belong anywhere, because my new friends have been together for much longer and have many more inside jokes that I usually don’t understand. They also like to gossip and often ditch each other, but they’re really fun to be around everyone has a great sense of humor and an important element in the group. However, my old friends are much more loyal to each other and almost never gossip except with big rumors, nothing about each other behind each other’s backs. They’re both in my lunch and several of them are in my classes, but I still sit with my new friends because I’m afraid that if I go back to my old friends they won’t let me in again. 

I think that the world is both beautiful and about to collapse. I marvel at all the technology and natures of certain people that I idolize, such as Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, and Jennifer Lawrence, but I know that all the beautiful things in the world might not be around for much longer. I’ve heard scary things about climate change and pollution and global warming, and the natures of certain people that I’ve heard of, such as ISIS and the war in Syria. I visit the CNN website weekly and read about the teacher’s strike in Seattle, the wildfire from the Sierra Nevada, and the protests from Puerto Rican workers, all of which I think are important. The strike and the protests show how the fairness isn’t that easy to define and much harder to achieve. The wildfire is salient because it was threatening the Californian sequoias, one of the oldest living things in the world, at around 2,700 years. I watch all the Grand Slams in tennis, which is the only sports that I watch, except for the Olympics. My favorite celebrity, Roger Federer, has two sets of twins (two girls and two boys) and has just beaten Stan Wawrinka, a fellow Swiss, in the semifinal, and is going on to the final again in the first time in six years, facing a confident Novak Djokovic for the 42nd time. I am rooting for him hard. 

I am hopeful for this year. I think that this year I’ll figure out my social life and decide who I want to spend time with and know which people are going to be the most beneficial for me. I want to stick with my current friends, but I’m afraid that they’ll lead you astray. I think that I’ll learn to be more compatible with my parents. I’ll clear things up with my “boyfriend.” I also think that the block scheduling will keep me more organized, and I’ll learn more discipline as time goes on. I think that this year, there will be a new iPhone 7 which will be the size of an iPad mini, and I’ really excited for Rick Riordan’s new book, Magnus Chase. I firmly believe that Roger Federer is going to win the US Open and every other tournament that he plays, but I don’t

know jack about any other major sports event. I’m hoping for a year just like last year, maybe better. As my two gifts, I’ve included my ink brush pen, which I haven’t quite mastered yet but still love to use, as well as my solar shades from last year, which I proudly showed my mom that now I could look at the sun and not go blind, something I’ve wanted to do ever since she told me that if I looked at the sun, I would go blind. 

My goals for this year are simple: get A’s, lose maybe two or three pounds, get stronger and faster physically and mentally, and master the ink brush pen. I want to have more stamina in cross country and run five miles without walking, as well as fixing up my backhand in tennis. Getting A’s shouldn’t be that difficult?  - I’ll study hard, pay attention, and focus. As for losing weight, I’ll exercise more and eat less pizza, which might be hard, since I have a fetish for pizza. Also, the ink brush pen should be mastered with some online research and lots of scrap paper. I’ll practice with it much more in my free time. I’ve already been able to run four miles without walking, so I should be able to run the five with practice. I should also stretch more to avoid cramps instead of being lazy and just collapsing after a run. With my backhand, I’ll just hit one whenever I can to practice it, instead of avoiding it and standing in the far left corner to hit everything as a forehand. I’ll never improve it that way. Trial and error is the only way to go? in tennis and in life, although sometimes if you’re lucky you can figure out a plan. I don’t have a plan. Not yet, anyway. 

Sincerely,

May Zheng, from the beginning of seventh grade



老师说，还可以写一篇给高中毕业的时候，不是必须的，她还是写了一篇：

1004 Taggert Drive, Belle Mead, NJ 08502 September 14, 2015



Dear May as a senior,

Are you happy? Are you successful? Did you figure out your life? Because right now, my life is a stinking hot mess. I’m terrible at everything it seems? the organization, time management, math, piano? and my priorities are so messed up. I’m constantly tired and I tend to snap easily, especially at my parents, which I later feel terrible about. I hope you’re better than that now.

Do you have a plan yet? Because right now I am so lost. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I love to write and draw and read and I’m decent at math, but I don’t have a clear goal in mind. Do you?

Did you find your true friends? As of the beginning of seventh grade, I don’t really know who I want to be my friends for the rest of the year. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere and I don’t know which group makes me feel the most comfortable. For now, I’m just with Naina and Sara, since I recently started tagging along last year. But I still want to be accepted by my old friends.

Do you still like pizza? Because if you don’t, I will be very disappointed in you.

Have you figured out your happiness yet? For me right now, working hard and being productive makes me happy, but I also find joy in being lazy and just chilling and wasting time. The next day I always look back on that and feel disgusted with myself.

Where is your place in the world? I don’t quite know, but I think that once I get past Aaron and Naina and being tired and unorganized and lazy I can finally sort myself out.

I hope you’re happy. I hope I can be happy too.

Adios,



May Zheng



她们的老师让他们写一篇这样的文章真的很好呢。到了七年级结束的时候和高中毕业的时候看，还是会很有意义的。老师还布置了一篇作业给家长，让我们家长写一篇文章介绍一下自己的孩子。